Life, and Other Such Nonsense
by Kali1
Summary: A silly take on current storylines.


Life, and Other Such Nonsense

By Kali

**_Author's note:_** Sort of spoiler-ish in regard to the first bit. I haven't watched the show much in the past year, but, I did watch the Rick bits on Friday's episode. This rampant silliness was the end result.

"What are we going to do?" Michelle plaintively asked her ex.

"Don't worry. I have a plan," Danny responded as he gave Michelle a hug.

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's called 'take the baby and run'."

"What! We can't do that! What about Cassie?"

"We'll send her a postcard."

"Oh, okay. I guess that will work."

* * *

"I'm a bloody cartoon!" Edmund exclaimed with disgust. 

"I know how you feel, but, it does have some benefits," Alan commented.

"What?"

"A contract," Alan responded with a grin.

"Wasn't your son fired mid-contract?"

"Oh, right," Alan said with a frown.

"It's like, 'Hello, and welcome to the Snidely Whiplash School of Villainy. Today, class, we'll be showing you how to obsess over the most absurd, inane things imaginable. Lunch will be served at 1 p.m. Right after the lecture on proper glowering technique,'" Edmund muttered in disgust.

"Oh, come on, everybody's a cartoon on this show. It's like a prerequisite," Dinah cheerfully chimed in.

* * *

"Rick, don't you believe that it is really me?" Phillip asked, shocked. 

"Actually, pal, you sound like canned sound bites played off of someone's computer."

"What? That's impossible!"

"That's what it sounds like to me. So, Phil, repeat after me. I seat park highlight mirror."

"Wha? Rick, that doesn't make any sense!"

"Buddy, that's the whole point. I want to make sure that you are really you."

* * *

"Mom, how could you? It's just… icky beyond belief," Lizzie said with stunned confusion. 

"Beth, honey, it just doesn't make any sense. It's not like you at all," Rick said as he eyed Beth with concern.

"Uh, weren't you just talking to Phillip?" Mallet asked Rick.

"It got edited for time. Anyhow, Beth…"

"I'm not Beth. I'm Migi from the planet Propakta."

"You're an alien? What are you doing in Springfield?" Mallet asked, stunned.

"Isn't it obvious? I plan on bilking that crazy billionaire for all he's worth!"

"Ah, taking over the planet through corporate means. That's different," Mallet responded thoughtfully.

"Not to mention, much more civilized," Buzz added.

"Well, what good does all that prime real estate do us, if we blow it all to bits?"

"How do you spell 'Propakta'? I'd like to send them a thank you card for screwing with my dad," Gus inquired.

"Ew! I'm not gonna…" Migi responded, horrified.

"I meant that in the other sense," Gus answered, nonchalantly.

"Don't you care that I plan on wiping him out financially?" Migi asked.

"Not particularly, no," Gus shrugged.

"So, how long have your people been watching Earth?" Mallet asked.

"Awhile. My people have a particular fondness for Alaska."

"Really? Why?"

"It's a snow thing. They like to eat it."

"Ah, corporate, snow eating aliens. And they say life in Springfield is boring!" Harley said bemused..

Mallet stared at Harley for a moment, and then said, "Shouldn't you be on your honeymoon? Wait, did I just say that?"

"Coop, my mother's been possessed by an alien!"

"Actually, I think they traded places."

"Whatever! We have to rescue her!"

"How are we supposed to do that!"

"Does it matter? Think about it, Coop. Major airtime. Major heroics. You'll be a legend."

"Coop, where are you going?" Buzz asked his son.

"We're off to rescue Beth."

"But…"

"Can't talk now, Dad. I've got me some alien hunting to do."

"Coop, these aliens, they'll probably have really big guns."

"Dad, they're corporate aliens. They don't carry big guns."

"You don't know that," Buzz responded with concern.

* * *

"So, do you think they'll come looking for us?" Beth asked. 

"Maybe. Though, I highly doubt they'll know where to look," Phillip answered.

"Well, at least the food is good," Beth stated, as she looked at their dinner.

"Yeah. I could do without all the snow cones, though."

**Disclaimer: **All GL character belong to P&G.


End file.
